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Pic'n'Mix

from The Last Five Years by Spoony Bard

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about

One of my best friends used to have a habit, whenever he broke up with a girlfriend, of indulging in a truly staggering amount of bed-hopping until he wound up in another relationship. This song was my gentle way of chiding him over his behaviour.

…Basically it's a song about slut-shaming a man.

I want you to be under no illusions: I am a terrible human being.

lyrics

When we were six, do you remember
Woolies was our Mecca
A wonderland of treats and toys
And nice girls called Rebecca
But you would spend the whole time
From the moment you walked in
Unable to decide
What kind of sweets you were getting

A scoopful of vanilla ice
Some toffee bonbons too
And plenty of your favourite cherry lips
Your eyes were bigger than your brain
Mum had to bail you out again
'Cos you could never get enough
To satisfy your love of pic'n'mix

And now we're grown I think you know
Things should be getting better
But nothing's been the same here
Since you broke up with Rebecca
I'm glad that you're not moping
And you're trying to move on
But surely there are better ways
Than the path that you have gone

A lustful glance at Amy's eyes
A sashay of Sam's legs
And one forbidden taste of Chloe's lips
Your head is bigger than your brain
There's no blood to go round again
I guess that this just goes to show
You can't treat girls you know like pic'n'mix

And nothing ever changes but the colour of their hair
And nothing changes that except the dyes

A scoopful of vanilla ice
Some toffee bonbons too
And plenty of your favourite cherry lips
Your head's still bigger than your brain
But I won't bail you out again
Just 'cos you can't get enough
To satisfy your love of pic'n'mix

You can't satisfy your love of pic'n'mix

And you can't treat girls you know like pic'n'mix.

credits

from The Last Five Years, released November 1, 2016

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Spoony Bard Liverpool, UK

Huyton's half-fi finest, Spoony Bard dispenses occasional bursts of observational bedroom pop from a box-room on the A5080. Wrapping his tales of everyday awkwardness in jauntily individual arrangements and addictively alliterative wit, he has a tendency to get embarrassed when talking about himself at length. Like now. ... more

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